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My Blog is about many things, adult adoptee, autism, family, laughter, and love, feel free to follow me on my journey, and look through my archives. It takes more than one subject to define me or my family. We are a mixture of a bit of everything!

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones



What I meant to say....  
Wednesday!


(Thank You Chief )




 ********



To the Flirtatious Guy who asked me my name….


What I meant to say… (and next time I will!)


My first Name is Tired, My Middle name is Bitchy
My Last Name is Single-Parent


********



Do you want to go see Princess and The Frog?


What I meant to say…


Sure I’d love to sit in a theater with a room
full of “other peoples” kids just to see that 
Our First Black Princess is a Frog 
 for more than 85 % of the Movie. 


********



I saw a for rent sign and asked the Manager
Is the apartment available now?
He looks me up and down distastefully and asks…
Will your children be living with you?


What I meant to say is…


“Oh Golly no Massa they sleeps on dah roof wit de Pijuhns”


********



(7 a.m. Saturday Morning)


Knock on my Door….


I open the door there are 
Two men dressed in Black Suits.


Them: Can we take a moment of time to 
show you the Word?


Me: The Lady of the house is not in, 
while closing the door.


What I meant to Say


In a passive aggressive note of course:




Dear Will Smith and Tommy Lee Jones,


Excuse me.... but whose saving us from Vicious Aliens while your on my stoop?!!!  First, I’d like to Thank you for getting my ass off the couch… I have to admit, I feel a wee bit better now that I’ve done my daily workout. However, are you telling me that I have to go to YOUR church and believe what YOU do to find the Stairway to Heaven? And, just how many stairs is that… I’m sure with my luck, I’m Fat in the after-life too! Also, Mr. Smith and Mr. Jones, is this message only pertinent at 7am on a Saturday morning?!!! 

I have some “WORDS” for you… this is Sunny California, you look ridiculous. Change out of those hot suits, set up a free daycare, pay for my makeover, and then we can talk. 

The Lord and I have an understanding… I got the shorter stick in this life, so as long as I believe in him and live it to the best of my ability we will meet at the White Light.


Thanks for stopping by...“Don’t let the Door hit Ya where the good lord split ya!” 


Signed, 
I believe in God, Bob Marley, and O.J. did it.



22 comments:

Melissa said...

Wow and wow! Tell those danged Mormons to leave you alone, okay? :)

You are hilarious-found you through chiefy

Adoption Of Jane Ug-LBC said...

Yeah Right. But its not just Mormons... they actually leave peacefully... its the Witnesses, the Catholics, and a few good religions. It's the time of morning, and its the fact that this is my door my personal space. Back away from the door.

SupahMommy said...

OJ did it!
bwaaa ha ha ha ha

And it is sad that the princess didnt' have more princess time... we have the wii game.. i eat sleep and drink it daily.

xoxo
supah

The Princess of Sarcasm said...

I would totally say something waaaay different (read: durty) if Will Smith showed up on MY doorstep! *RAWR* ;)

Kmama said...

Stopping by from Chief's...

I hate door-to-door solicitors, religious people, etc. Probably why I haven't fixed my doorbell in the 7 years that I've lived in my house.

Kiera said...

ahhhhh hahahah! i like that you're 'equal opportunity" and offend everyone! thats great!!

~Kaydee~ said...

Stopped by from Chief's and did some back reading on your entire month of January. I'm hooked, can't wait to read the rest!!

I'm watchin you! =)

Meeko Fabulous said...

You are hilarious! I have to admit, I'm a little bit miffed at the fact that the first black princess spends the majority of the movie as a frog. I mean WTF Disney? Oh and suits at my door on a Saturday morning . . . Good luck with that . . . There's no way I'm getting my tired, partied ass out of bed that early in the morning on a Saturday. Cheers friend! :)

CrazyAssMomma said...

found you from chief....

and ROTFLMFAO @ Signed,
I believe in God, Bob Marley, and O.J. did it.

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

awesome.

Chief said...

Hysterical... I sent the black suite to you ya know!?

Adoption Of Jane Ug-LBC said...

LOL Chief! Next time can you send 'em after 10am?

Daffy said...

You rocked this one! So much better than mine.

OJ did it....and Bob Marley is grand....in fact I do believe he will be on permanent concert in my head for the remainder of the day. Me and the three little birds thank you :O)

Noelle said...

:) I love your blog! And having been one of those 'danged Mormon' missionaries at one point...I would never knock on someone's door that early in the morning...ever!

Noelle said...

we went to see that movie last weekend and i have to say i was a little disappointed in the princess frog thing. i'm totally with you on that! oh yeah...and i agree with you on oj! of course he did it!

Suzy said...

All in all you'll have to admit men are just not that bright.

Lady J said...

Love it....there's nothing like a early morning belly laugh to get my day gong.

Thanks.

(O.J. did do it.....)

Penney said...

Why, why, WHY do they always come at 7am on Saturday morning? Does God not like AFTERNOONS???

Julie said...

We have a lady that comes with her little boy and it's also the same time each month, when my kids are just getting ready for nap and she thinks they can play while we "chat". I am impressed that they still go out and witness, that's something that doesn't happen all that often anymore but I wouldn't mind if she came while everyone was ready to play. I want to say something but so far just smile. One day though!!
Thank you for sharing. Hey, I love the boots. I could dance around and sing to the new song I love. Yeah and if someone saw me they'd die from laughing.
Take care and have a great day. God Bless.
Oh found you via Midday Escapades and Follow Friday. Thanks for visiting my blog and following. I'll try and keep you entertained like your blog does me.

Natalie A. said...

Thanks for following my blog! I am now following your blog! Have a great Friday! Love your post!

Valerie Neal said...

I LOVE your frankness!!!

Hopping by from Follow Friday!!!
Have a great weekend!
Valerie @ Walkininsunshine.

Jane said...

You have no idea how bad I needed a good laugh today!!! Thanks.... I'll be back for more. Have a great weekend. :)

Zeemaid said...

thank you... I'm not the only one disappointed with the first black princess. Even pocohontas got a better rap. Talk about stereotypes.

Thanks so much for the follow!

 

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