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My Blog is about many things, adult adoptee, autism, family, laughter, and love, feel free to follow me on my journey, and look through my archives. It takes more than one subject to define me or my family. We are a mixture of a bit of everything!

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I plead the 5th

My son, Tafari and I
Today while cleaning my inboxes and emails I came across something I'd written to a few friends. It was a letter I wrote explaining a situation i "may have" been in. I have wanted to blog about it for sometime. There are several reasons I haven't. The main and most important one being that I didn't want to promote violence, or a Vigilante way of solving problems. The second is I am in the process of starting my own non-profit and didn't want to appear unable to control my emotions. The third and final reason is I am not one of the worlds dumbest Criminals and would never admit to any acts that could be conceived in such a way. So basically, I plead the fifth, and am stating that this "may have happened". 

After watching Tuesday Nights T.V. Show Parenthood and seeing Adam Braverman (the father of Max, Max has Asperger's) lose control and hit someone for calling his son a Retard, i felt the need to open up this topic for discussion. The thing that some Non-Special needs Persons do not understand, is the immense amount of pressure we are under 24 hours a day. Me, personally, I even dream of Autism, Meltdowns, and SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder). It only takes a straw to break a Camel's back. Just the looks, stares, and comments alone can wear down the strongest person. I don't condone violence in any matter. Violent Actions OR Violent words. 

With that said, let's face it.... some people don't know when to Shut up.

Let me be very clear... again I state, I am not a violent person... but EVERYONE has a breaking point!

Lets say after a really rough week, I had the weekend all to myself and the following "MAY HAVE" occurred...

I was super exited to go out and spend time with my neighbors. We went to an Irish Pub and the night started off fun. We were sitting at this table talking to some girls and I noticed one of the chicks arms were really tone. I asked her what does she do to keep her arms in shape. She rolled her eyes and sighed at me. I let it slide... so somehow the conversation at the table turned to kids. Then Autism and Tafari came up. I was telling her friend about my son. Her friend was really nice and interested. 

This girl (the one with the tone arms) cut me off and said I really don't give a damn about Autism or your Son I'm trying to drink and enjoy myself, you are in a bar you know!!!! I looked her dead in her face and said You are dealing with a very exhausted and overextended Mama I suggest you &*^#*^ before I *&$%&#. Then after a week of quitting ciggarettes, I got up and went outside to smoke a ciggarette to calm down. Some dude came outside and asked if I was okay and I asked him if that was his friend. He said yes but she's a bitch just ignore her. I told him one day she is gonna say some shit to the wrong person and they are gonna beat the shit out of her.... he asked what she said and I told him, but then I started crying while I was telling him the story. I always tear up when I'm mad. So she walks out to smoke... see's i'm crying and walks by me rolls her eyes and laughs!! Before I knew what I was doing my foot flew up and I kicked her in the ass so hard she flew at least 5 feet and fell on the pavement. I did it in front of a lot of people so I took off worried the cops would be called. I kicked her really hard. So basically the other night I LITERALLY kicked someones ass.

The next day my rational mind said:
Thank god I didn't kick the wrong place and paralyze her. 

While the mother in me said:
But, that freakin' Bitch had it coming. 
1. you don't talk about my kid 
2. you don't talk shit about Special Needs persons.

My neighbor told me after I left they helped her up but she was limping. Thank god they talked her out of calling the police.

See people don't know what we deal with everyday. That was the straw that broke the camels back. I kicked that bitch for every person that has ever given us a weird look or a breath of disgust. I kicked her for every person dealing with Autism. And it felt good. That feeling wore off quickly, and it was replaced with anger at myself for not remaining in control.

When she said she didnt care about my son and autism... i literally saw Tafari's, Sierra's, Ezra, Kaitlyn, Tony, Aj's, Bev's, and Brandon's face (my friends kids on the Spectrum) flash in my head... i had to walk out and smoke or i would have faced a murder charge. They would not of gotten my hands from around her neck. 

And that "may be" my Adam Braverman story

Moral of the story: 

Never talk about someone's child, Never put down another person's passion, and most important... find an outlet or a stress reliever, because your tension will not just go away and it will come out. 

And most importantly, you can't help your child in Prison. 

(remember, i plead the 5th) 

*Some quick tips for helping a Special Needs Parent in Public
1. If you see a child throwing a fit ask the parent if they need help. Such as.. can i hold your bags, do you need assistance, what can I do to help.
2. Listen to the person who is speaking about there child.
3. Teach your children about ours
4. If you don't have anything nice to say... don't say anything at all.


Jane said...

If you were to do all that (which I'm not saying you did :), you freaking rock! What a hateful and miserable person "toned b" must be!!

Oka said...

Some people are beyond selfish, UGH

blueviolet said...

You're absolutely right. People can only be pushed so far until they snap. Karma will get her more than a kick in the ass, I think.

singedwingangel said...

WE talked about this 'hypothetical' situation previously and I said that God don't like ugly.. I would have done the same thing except I probbly would have hungaround till the cops were called cause had she got up I would have been on her like white on rice again.. umm yeah.. But thanks God this is a hypothetical situation roflmbo

Rose said...

hey! i would also be mad. this woman was way beyond acting like a human being. i agree that violence isn't the answer to respond to this person. we all have a breaking point. i'm glad no legal action happened. i love your sense of humour and your straight talk. thanks for your comment on my post re decorating. have a good day. rose

LL Cool Joe said...

Good for you, maybe she'll think twice next time.

I did grin a bit, was that bad?

Autism Mom Rising said...

Thank you thank you thank you for sharing this post. Nobody should ever have to put up with that crap. No mom. No person. Nobody. Poor girl (I mean you). I might have done the same thing

People who do that are not just triggering frustration in me in the moment. They tap into a primal fear I have about ultimately having to one day leave my son to an indifferent world. I guess I need to live to be 100.

Kmama said...

I don't blame you. I so don't blame you. I watched that episode of Parenthood today, and I was rooting for Adam.

I'm sorry you were even put in that situation. What a bitch.

pr0udmom0f3 said...

I would have been UNDER the jail more than likely. You were nice to her to be honest. Good for you taking a stand for ALL of us parents and our unique kids.

TortugaRachel said...

Now, I wasn't there, so I don't know if this really happened or not, but if I had been there, I woulda been cheering you on.

Anonymous said...

All I can say is THE BITCH DESERVED IT, and she got off EASY! I would have come back with a baseball bat!

Lisa Neal said...

You're a brave mama to share this story with us... thank you so much! We all understand exactly how you "hypothetically" felt when that horribly selfish, insensitive, and disrespectful excuse for a woman insulted you and your special needs child. I'm glad you "possibly" gave her the kick in the tail she deserved.