Translate My Blog

My Blog is about many things, adult adoptee, autism, family, laughter, and love, feel free to follow me on my journey, and look through my archives. It takes more than one subject to define me or my family. We are a mixture of a bit of everything!

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Special Exposure Wednesday Autism Awareness Month Begins

5 Minutes for Special Needs

We attended the Los Angeles Clippers game
on Sunday Night with The Autspot

Tafari's Brother, and his friends 
come to Support Autism Night

My Boys

Cassius Looks for The Autspot Booth

Islaam has a good hold on Tafari 
and makes his way to pick up our 
complimentary tickets!

The Boys Horse Around

Tafari is in Safe Hands
Hanging out with Dele and Greg

The Game Starts, a good Tip off helps 
jump off Autism Awareness Month!

Tafari sees his friends from Pre-School

Davion, Ezra, Amanda, and Armon join us!

My Friend Amanda and our Boys

Armon and Tafari

Dele spots us in the crowd


Autspot Guys get a moment 
to watch the game!

Tafari passes out

and the older boys

Rock Out!


They make their own video,


and change the group name, its....

The Jonas BROTHAS!

Just another AWESOME day 

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Post it Note Tuesday The Jonas BROTHAS





 
Please join Supah to see more Post-It's
  and create your own!

Friday, March 26, 2010

Weekend Warriors Meme #2


(feel free to grab the button)

There are no rules... this will run
through the whole weekend
(Friday evening posted by 9pm PST
thru Noon Monday, PST )
so that Special Needs Families
will have time to participate..
we never know what any day is going to be like..
  
~Non-Special Needs Linkers ask us a question, 
email knottylbc@yahoo.com to have 
your questions posted the following week...
link us, love our children, and most of all teach your children 
how to befriend ours~


Non-Special Needs 
(suggestions)

Aunties, Uncles, Neighbors, OT's, ABA's & Families
Email me Three Questions that I will post next week

(ex. how do you feel about your child riding the Short Bus?, 
I say short bus not to poke fun, but to open up correct lingo and 
take the power out of tacky words),
 
Post a pic of your Child with
A Special Person in their Lives,
Post an interaction you had this week,
Something new you've learned, etc
 Let us know One thing you will do this month
to teach your Child about Ours.


Special Needs Persons & Families
(suggestions)

Post A Pic

Link an old post or your current post
Choose to Answer Questions I posted previous Week
Post how your Week/Weekend went
What are your plans this Weekend,
vent, share, love, and laugh..
you and your family are valued here!


This is not a forum stating "my way or the highway"
please be respectful, discuss your experiences only.

This is not a forum to debate.
So lets gather and share our Experiences! 

This weeks Question:
if you knew then what you know now, how would this information have changed your 'list' of 'must haves' for baby 
e.g. skip the really cute little hat with ears 
[he's never gonna wear anything on his head ever] 
and opt for a life time supply of Velcro 
for all those pesky PECs.......

This Weekend Warrior I chose to 
answer the question:

I would have asked for help making a
Therapy room in my home!!
I would do anything (almost) for a seperate
Therapy room, straight with Swings, Weighted items, Etc.!
Then he can play with something besides Lego's
(he is fascinated with Legos!!)


Jane's tip of the day... 
When you see, what you assume is,
an unruly child in public, 
don't judge,
remember our children, 
and that child too,
could have special needs!

Please link directly to your Weekend Warrior Post
(feel free to link posts with Special Needs Giveaways 
and informational links, but please, no links 
to ads for expensive items the average household cannot afford) 



Wednesday, March 24, 2010

Little Mutant Vampires


Another night
Hiding under the Covers
We are under Attack
Leave us Alone
We have so many Challenges
Find Someone Else
I can't even Post today
I have to Stop
In between Words
To Scratch
To tell the Kids
Don't Scratch
It makes it Worse



Mosquito's Suck
Even Worse than this Post

Little Mutant Vampires
are after us

Sniffle
Sniffle
Scratch
 Scratch


Tuesday, March 23, 2010

Post it Note Tuesday It's been a long few weeks!


Visit Supah to make your own or see more Post-it Notes!



Adventures of a Wanna-Be Supah Mommy

i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
i heart supah i heart supah i heart supah 
lol

oxoxoo 
* wink

Monday, March 22, 2010

Open Adoption Blogger Interview


Open Adoption Bloggers Interview Project

Recently I came across the blog Production Not Reproduction. I was very excited to see Heather's Blog. I noticed they had an Interview Project coming up but it was past the sign up date. I emailed a request to be added if anyone was dropped and in no time Heather fit me right in. She said she had the perfect Blogger to unite me with... that was the understatement of the year! I was paired up with a beautiful woman the writer of American Family

(You can view other Interviews at Open Adoption Interview Project. You can view her Interview with me at American Family Open Adoption Blogger Interview.)

During our correspondence I learned her daughter L is almost 4 years old and was adopted from China at 11 months, three years ago.  Her older daughter M was born to her and her husband and she is 7.  Her  husband is Chinese/Taiwanese American (born here) and she states she is about as white-bread Midwestern as they come (heh.) I received a very nice email from her stating feel free to ask anything just please keep her family Anonymous. She stated she wanted to remain Anonymous to protect her daughter L's Birth Family! That was the moment I new that our Interview was a match made in Bloggy Heaven! During my research of her blog and our interview I was impressed how Compassion, Respect, and Selflessness was as automatic as breathing.

I'd like to thank the writer of American Family for her honest and heartwarming Interview.

1. You stated you were born in a Trailer. It sounds like your parents provided a loving family for you. However, did your income as a child have anything to do with you wanting to adopt a less fortunate child?

My parents were 17 and 19 when I was born and we did live in a trailer.  Due to a lot of family support, they both managed to finish college and moved on to solid upper-middle class careers.  Our family income steadily increased throughout my childhood. So while I remember times of wanting things we couldn't have, my life certainly wasn't one of deprivation.

I think there are several paths that ended up leading us to adoption. There have always been people in my life who came to their families in ways besides being born to them.  One of my first babysitters had a daughter adopted from Korea.  I have a number of step-cousins who were fully embraced as members of our family.  A good friend of mine in high school was adopted. All these families seemed perfectly fine and not at all unusual, so adoption didn't seem like a foreign concept to me.

When I found myself accidentally knocked up with M, it was not long after Mr. A's youngest sister was diagnosed with schizo-affective disorder (kind of like schizophrenia, but not quite as bad) and his dad's diagnosis was either bi-polar disorder or schizo-affective disorder too.   While the research says a biological child of Mr. A's risk isn't too terribly high in the grand scheme of things, we were both a little worried about the future and the possibility of losing our child into the vortex of mental illness.  Our genes aren't really all that special, and too be frank, they felt a little more risky than rolling the dice with a stranger's genes.

Not to say that it is so cut an dry, there were lots of other contributing factors, too.  We didn't really ever think of the child we were adopting as being less fortunate, but we knew there were kids who needed families and we were a family who wanted another child and biology didn't matter that much to us..  It seemed like it could be a good fit.  Adopting from China seemed to be a natural fit for us because Mr. A identifies strongly as Asian or Chinese and he (and I) felt that it would be good for a Chinese kid coming to America to have the opportunity to grow up in a home with an Asian parent.

2. In your blog post love is not enough you said "From day one, I have felt a nagging worry that I am not doing the right things or doing enough for her" Do you still feel that way? If so why?

I do worry about the parenting choices we make.  I think our intentions are generally good, you know what they say about good intentions, right? 

I especially worry about my choices with L because she had a really rough start in the world.  She lost her birth family and then when she came to us, she had experience serious trauma when she lost her home and caregivers.  It took her a long time for her to trust us and to feel safe.  I don't take that trust for granted. 


I also acknowledge my role in her loss of her caregivers and her birthcountry and culture.  We believe that our family is better than no family (or an orphanage) for L, but that doesn't erase her losses. L deserves better than the crappy hand she was dealt.  I want both my girls to grow up feeling confident about themselves, their place in the world and the fact that they are loved and cherished.  That is a big responsibility and I try to live up to it as much as I can, that means I question the choices we make.  That is ok, because I am someone who tends to over-think pretty much everything, so worrying about my choices is par for the course for me.

3. I noticed your daughters attended a Chinese Club.  I am very impressed that you've sought out to teach them about their Culture. Are they still in that Activity and what else are you doing to enrich all your children with the Chinese Culture?
 
Right now, M has Chinese lessons three times a week and L has lessons with a Chinese tutor once a week.  Eventually, L's lessons will increase as she gets older.  I think learning Chinese is especially important for L because we hope to locate her birth family and I would like her to be able to communicate with them.

We have tried a variety of things to make sure our kids have exposure to Chinese culture.  I am learning to cook Chinese recipes (which makes Mr. A excessively happy).  We celebrate Chinese New Year with Mr. A's family and we celebrate the Moon Festival as one of our family traditions.  We try to make sure our kids have the opportunity to know other Asian or Chinese kids.  We are planning a 2 month trip to China and Taiwan next year. 

We talk to the girls a lot about what it means to be Chinese or Asian American.  Mr. A identifies strongly as Asian American and Chinese so he can be the one who defines those identities and cultures for them, not their white mom.  I am glad I can pass that responsibility on to him because it would feel weird for me to tell them what it means to be Chinese.

4. Can you briefly define Guanxi for those whom have not read your blog? Have you figured out what is expected of you for help in finding L's family yet?

Guanxi is a huge part of Chinese culture.  It means the interconnected web of social relationships and the corresponding responsibilities.  (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Guanxi)  The easiest way to explain it to an American is that it is like "You scratch my back, I'll scratch yours."  But there is a lot more to it.  In any relationship, both parties have a certain responsibility to meet the needs of each other.  The closer the relationship, the bigger the responsibility to help the other party out.

As an American, it is really hard to figure out what our guanxi responsibilities are.  My instinct would be just to offer to pay for the services that people helping us search are offering, but it appears that isn't necessarily the way it is going to play out.  I am fortunate that I have a number of Chinese friends and contacts I can ask and who I trust to frankly tell me what I need to do.  At the same time, the relationship is between our family and our Chinese contacts, so the weight of doing it right falls squarely on us.  We will have to wait and see how things play out, I guess.  

5. Do you have any plans for these two scenarios?

a.What if L's parents want no contact? 

To me, this is the worst possible outcome.  Worse than never finding L's family at all, because it would be a second rejection of her by her parents.  In China, it is reasonable for them to be afraid that others will find out they abandoned their child and probably broke the law by violating the One Child Policy. They could lose their jobs or even go to jail.  It is very possible they won't want to talk to us.

If they want no contact, the first thing I will do is try to get the answers to questions L may have as she gets older in case we never have another opporunity.  (Why was she abandoned?  Does she have siblings?  Health history, etc.)  I also desperately want to have a picture of them so she can see who she looks like.

If they demanded no contact, we would also obviously try to convince them they should have minimum contact for L's benefit (annual letters/photos, etc.)  and to leave the door open to a relationship later.  We would probably have our contact in China visit them occasionally (keeping a very low profile), to encourage them to open up contact.  We will have to build trust with them and that takes time.  I am crossing my fingers that they will be open to contact.

b.What if L's parents want more contact?

If we find L's family, I hope we can have as much contact as possible.  I would like letters/emails/photos/phone calls and visits.  This is a lot to ask from them, I think.  It really depends on the situation and what is best for L.  (e.g. That they are physically and psychologically safe for her to have contact, etc.) 

If her family in China welcomes her back as a member of their family, I will do what I can to facilitate as much contact as possible.  We are committed to visiting China as our finances permit (at least three visits during her childhood, hopefully more).  I have always hoped that we could live in China as a family while the girls are young, but it looks increasingly unlikely that will ever happen.  If L would like to spend some time living in China when she is old enough to make that decision (whether with her birth family or in some other way like being an exchanges student etc.) I think we would be willing to help her do that. 


One other thing I feel like I should address is the question people always seem to ask when I mention we are searching.   What I will do if they want her back???   I can't count the number of times people have said that to me. What if we find out that L was stolen and not given up voluntarily?  The answer to that is hard.  Legally, L is our daughter by both Chinese and international law.  I can't imagine the Chinese government would lose face by rescinding our adoption.  I am not afraid someone will take her away from us.   I won't "give her back" either.  She has had to much trauma in her short life for her to lose another family or be transplanted into another country and culture while she is too young to comprehend it.  Beyond "giving her back",  I am hopeful that sharing L with her Chinese family will be the best thing for her.


I'd like to thank American Family for expanding my family once again. I definitely plan to stay in contact.

Friday, March 19, 2010

Weekend Warriors




Welcome to the very first 
 WEEKEND WARRIORS!!!
(click home on this page for current posts)

There are no rules... this will run 
through the whole weekend 
(Friday evening posted by 9pm PST 
thru Noon Monday, PST )  
so that Special Needs Families 
will have time to participate.. 
we never know what any day is going to be like.. 
  
~Non-Special Needs Linkers ask us a question, 
email knottylbc@yahoo.com to have 
your questions posted the following week...
link us, love our children, and most of all teach your children 
how to befriend ours~

If you are like me and crave prompts 
here are a couple suggestions pick one or use several:

Non-Special Needs 
(suggestions)

Aunties, Uncles, Neighbors, OT's, ABA's & Families
Email me Three Questions that I will post next week
(ex. how do you feel about 
your child riding the Short Bus),
Post a pic of your Child with 
A Special Person in their Lives,
Post an interaction you had this week, 
Something new you've learned, etc
 Let us know One thing you will do this month 
to teach your Child about Ours.

Special Needs Families
(suggestions)
Post A Pic
Choose to Answer Questions I posted previous Week
Post how your Week/Weekend went
What are your plans this Weekend,
vent, share, love, and laugh.. 
you and your family are valued here!


This is not a forum stating "my way or the highway"
please be respectful, discuss your experiences only.
This is not a forum to debate.
So lets gather and share our Experiences! 

(If you have Special Needs please join us too!)

********

My Weekend Warrior Moment:
This week Tafari and I played a Prank
on my Neighbor Roxanne and Scared her!


Jane's Tip of the day: 
Have your Child volunteer in
a Special Needs Class at their School


********


Please link directly to your Weekend Warrior Post
(feel free to link posts with Special Needs Giveaways 
and informational links, but please, no links 
to ads for expensive items the average household cannot afford)

Family Fridays & FF: A Blog Family Interview


It's Family Friday's hosted by...

This week for my Family Friday Post I'd like you to meet a New Member of my Blog Family! I have rented apartments all of my Adult life and It's great to see life from the other side of the Fence. Her Blog is Awesome!! Trust me, her stories will keep you laughing and yes they are all true!!! 


I read her blog for a couple of hours while I was sick.. just going through the archives had me cracking up and feeling better!

An Interview with The Funniest Apartment Manager




1. On your Blog, in your about me section, you stated you had no plans on becoming an Apartment Manager.  How did you get in the Field?

After I had my daughter I was in desperate search of a work from home position. I did data entry from home for awhile but it was incredibly hard for me especially with my ADD tenancies. Then the apartment complex that I was living in asked me if I would like to be the manager. It was a small complex and they said it would require little to no work(liars!) and I would get paid and get a garage. In Long Beach a garage is like GOLD. So I took it. And the rest is history....


2. How many Apartments do you oversee?

It is one large apartment complex with over 100 apartments. It's a rather large property. As a matter of fact I was walking the property with my gardener one day when I was 37 weeks pregnant with my son and it actually put me into labor.


3. I love how you turned the stress of your job into humor! That's what drew me to your Blog. Was there a turning point, or an event that made you decide Laugh or Sink? If so, what was that event?


I have realized through this job that common logic is a lost art and I found myself getting upset every day over something that someone would say or do. I came to a crossroads where I realized I either needed to quit my job (which I threatened to do daily) or suck it up and find the joy in it. It wasn't until this lady that I decided to not get offended or upset but to just go with it and find the humor. Since doing that I have enjoyed my job immensely. Now, every time someone says or does something crazy instead of getting upset or annoyed I almost want to thank them for providing me and my readers so much entertainment.


4. How long have you been Managing Apartments? Have you stayed at the same place, or were you working at another building prior to the one your in now?

I have been a manager for only four years now. I used to manage a smaller complex in Long Beach in a homeless infected area that was crazy and now I manage here in Orange County. Not the ocean view Mercedes Benz, everywhere type of Orange County but Orange County none the less.


5. Do Apartment Managers get vacations? If so, who oversees your site? Do you come back to utter chaos?


I am actually on vacation right now! When I leave I usually ask a friend to watch the property for me. My phone usually rings off the hook the entire time and I have several tenants who do not believe I should ever leave the property. I usually return to 100 messages, cranky tenants and so on and so forth but it's still worth it :) Although when "Kevin" a tenant who I often refer to on my blog was still living there I had a major incident when I was gone that involved drugs, nudity and the cops.

6. The story about the Incident Report cracked me up the most. Any updates?

Haha! I felt like I had found a pot of gold when I discovered all these incident reports from the prior manager. I have no idea what became of those two. I even asked my boss who has been over this property for 20 years and he couldn't even remember the incident! Which just goes to show how much he has seen over the years.


7. Do you live on site? If so do Tenants show up at your doorstep?


I do live on site. I have an office and lobby right off my kitchen. I always have tenants knocking on my door or window(which for the record drives me bonkers). I once had a tenant just walk on in my front door! 


8. How do you seperate your Work from your Home Life?


That  is a very good question and the answer is I don't. I can't just work from 9-5 it's all random hours and with the office and lobby right off my kitchen it's incredibly difficult to just shut off work when it wont stop calling you!


9. What are the ages of your kids? How are your kids relationship with other Tenants kids?


My daughter is 4 and my son is 2. I live by a strict rule and that is "be friendly to everyone make friends with NO ONE."  The same goes with my kids. Sometimes they will play a little with the other kids if they are out in the courtyards already but I don't make play dates and we don't go to birthday parties, baby showers or weddings or anything other than the occasional "hi" in the courtyards. 


10. You stated you'd like to move when your Husband finishes School. Where would you like to live?


Someplace where I will not have to collect rent once a month:)

Thank you for taking the time to let me Interview you! My sister also oversees various properties, so I definitely believe and find laughter in each story! I have the utmost respect for you tackling such a Stressful job with such a Great Outlook!! I encourage EVERYONE to VISIT THIS BLOG!!!

 Thank you SO much for spotlighting my blog and interviewing me.


Friday Follow

Thursday, March 18, 2010

Thirsty Thursday's Hot & Cold


for more recipes

 
Since I am still a bit sick I have a  Previous Post
Recession Confessions Latte Everyday!
(it was one of my first posts)

and I found this lil' Ice Cube treat 
from Cooks.com

HONEY ICE CUBES 
1/2 c. honey
2 tbsp. lemon juice
2 c. very hot water
Blend honey, lemon juice and water. Mix well. Pour into ice cube trays. Freeze. Serve in ice tea or punch.Can substitute 1 tablespoon lime juice for 1 tablespoon lemon juice for variety.




Wednesday, March 17, 2010

Yo Tweeps & Special Exposure Wednesday Short Bus Rocks!!


5 Minutes for Special Needs
 Please visit 5 minutes for Special Needs to see more shots or link up!
Tafari started a new Autism Pre-school and he now takes the Bus!!

(This button takes you straight to my 
Autism/Asperger's and Special Needs Links Page...
please grab it)








Waiting for the Bus!!

It's coming down the street!!
Ms. Murphy is the best Bus Driver!

Peace Out!!



1.  Here's my Twitter Link: AdoptionOfJane

2.  Shout me a hello on twitter.  @adoptionofjane I follow!!  #yotweeps

Then I'll know you followed and I'll reciprocate.  SO EASY to do this way!  Especially if you use tweetdeck.

Want more tweeps?

MAKE A BLOG POST LIKE I DID.

3.  Grab the YO Tweeps Button


 

.